Use Gratitude to Combat Stress

Feeling stressed?

In the Psalms, we repeatedly see signs of David’s grateful heart. It was this perspective that allowed him to persevere in his many times of trouble and to accomplish wonderful things for the kingdom of God. Adopting an attitude of gratitude in the midst of ...Read More

How to Move from Victim to Victor

I’m participating in a 21-day worry-free group on Facebook, and the word for today is endurance. It’s an attribute that many of us lack, because it’s one that must be cultivated.

It’s really not a natural thing for us to willingly go through difficulties, especially extended ones, much less go through them with a positive attitude. Our brain and body were created to quickly move us away from any form of danger, pain, or suffering. When we can’t or don’t move away, the mechanisms inherent to the fight or flight response continue to escalate within us, often leading to stress, anxiety, and even depression. And while this response is natural, we don’t have to be ruled by our nature.

Our mind has the power to counter the responses.  Did you know that our brain and body react exactly the same way to false danger as they do to real danger? Our mental perspective results in our physical response. If we perceive the situation in a negative light, our bodies respond accordingly. But if we frame that same situation in a positive light, we are able to remain more at peace.

For the sake of clarity, I’m not talking about actual trauma. But for anything less, reframing can be very beneficial.

Here is a simple example, suppose you are traveling and find your connecting flight delayed. I speak from personal experience as it has happened many times. If you perceive the delay in a negative way, you’ll feel stressed and may even act out in anger. But if you reframe that delay as a chance to finish your report, explore the airport, or an opportunity to be kind to a stranger, you won’t feel stressed. You just might feel blessed.

Asking the right types of questions is one of my favorite re-framing tools. Instead of questions like:

• Why is this happening to me?
• Why is my co-worker so mean to me?
• Why isn’t life fair?

Try asking questions like:

• What can I learn from this?
• How can I use this to get better?
• How will I glorify God in this?

Asking better questions leads to better outcomes. The first types of questions are victim questions. They reflect powerlessness, focusing on things beyond our control. The second types of questions are victor questions. They are empowering, focusing on what we can control. The situation doesn’t change, but our outlook and attitude does. And sometimes with a better attitude, we find that we can actually change the situation because we are no longer stuck in a trap of limiting beliefs.

The victim trap is no place for anyone to remain, but most especially a child of the Most High. So, I want to encourage you today, should you find yourself there, to pull out your Bible and apply it to your circumstance. It’s a great source of wisdom and of authority on controlling your mind. Below are just a few. Study them, pick one or two to memorize, or write them out and place them where you’ll see them. Claim the power God has given you.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Phil. 4:8 ESV

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 ESV

Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Col. 3:2 ESV

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:5-6 ESV

For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. 1 Peter 10: 3-4 ESV

Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life. Prov. 4:23 NCV

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, – 2 Cor. 10:5 ESV

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:13 ESV

When we work together with the power of the Holy Spirit to reframe the struggles of the day, we can leave stress and worry behind and, in faith, walk with endurance the path set before us.

Be blessed today.

Ann

Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.
Hebrews 12:1b-2a

How to Adjust an Attitude

Do you ever have one of those days where you just seem to get up on the wrong side of the bed? You’re easily irritated and short-tempered for no real reason. That was definitely me this morning. My husband didn’t have to say much and I felt my ire rising. 

Being human, we’re all capable of being grumps. But that doesn’t mean it’s ok to remain that way. So, I took a deep breath, gave myself a stern talking to, and proceeded with a full on attitude adjustment. 

Chapter 4 in the book of Ephesians is a great resource for showing us exactly how to cleanse unhealthy thoughts and negative mental states. It begins with recognizing (v.22) that our thinking has tainted, and making the choice to fully put it away. That’s followed by earnest prayer, asking (v.23) the Holy Spirit to renew our mind and give us an attitude (v.24) that aligns with Christ. 

When we follow the Word, fully yielding to the Spirit, an inner shift occurs. But when we fail to do so, we give place to the devil (v.27) in our life and fall easily into sin. 

While I hope I don’t need another one soon, it would be wishful thinking to expect to never need one. But the next time my attitude is in need of an adjustment, I know just exactly where to turn. 

-Ann Wilds 

“Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.”

 (Ephesians 4:23)

The Cost of Keeping Score

People sometimes complain about other people’s social media posts being filled with how well their life is going, how happy their relationships, and how special their children. The problem, they say, is that it can’t be true, no one’s life is that perfect, and they just need to stop pretending. But they’re wrong.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

The problem has nothing at all to do with what someone else posts on their own social media, whether true or not. But everything to do with where you and I place our attention. God gave each of us unique life paths. Your path is not mine, my path is not yours, and the person posting on social media has their own path, too. We have no idea what they have walked through, or are walking through.

The enemy of your soul seeks to cause division and strife. He loves nothing more than to lead you to doubt God’s goodness towards you. And that, my friend, is where jealousy, discontentment, and resentment begin. ⠀⠀⠀⠀

The root of every sin is in where we choose to turn our eyes. When our attention is fixed on other people, our thoughts turn easily to what we feel we lack. Instead, look to God and His grace and glory. The only time we should focus on other people is when we look to see where we can give them help. We all rise best by lifting others. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

So, when you feel discouraged by someone else’s seemingly perfect life, remember, it’s

count your blessings, not compare them. 

-Ann Wilds

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34:8‬

Don't Believe a Lie

A friend was hurt recently over words someone said about her. It was apparent she was in deep pain though the words, spoken in context, weren’t intended to offend. What was minor for one, was major for another.

Often, when we react intensely to an offense it is because it has triggered a previous wound, a rawness that has never fully healed. Though the pain is felt in the moment it is not actually about that moment. In my friend’s case, the wound comes from a lie she has unwittingly embraced as truth.

A lie that says she doesn’t measure up.

Are you, like my friend, troubled by nagging thoughts that you’re not enough? At one time or another, we all experience feelings of inadequacy. And the feeling can be justified: a first-time parent with a newborn, a novice chess player, or a student taking an exam not studied for. But if the feelings of inadequacy center on who you are as a person, know with absolute certainty that they are lies.

We each carry a unique perspective, influenced by our life experiences, our family, the world, the enemy, and our internal sound track. But there is something you need to understand. The messages, expectations, and beliefs that come from them have absolutely no meaning unless you accept them as truth. And what you believe to be true, manifests in your life as if it was true.

Over the years, I've also heard messages that I wasn’t enough, that I was faulty or lacked value. Some were spoken out loud, though most were piercing whispers in my heart. But I learned a secret. Those messages don’t define me. They may be someone’s truth, but they aren’t my truth.

The real truth of who you are comes from your Creator. But until you fully embrace His truth as your truth, you'll spend life weakened and under attack. My friend longs to be accepted for who she is, but finds herself thwarted time and again, because deep down she still believes a lie. As a result, she can respond to others in a distorted way. When they pull back it reinforces the lie. My friend’s pain is very, very real. But it is needless.

Lesson for the Journey:

If someone said that you were a purple gorilla, you’d walk away unconcerned because you know it’s untrue. A person's opinion of you will only cause you distress when you’ve forgotten the truth of who you really are. The moment you accepted Christ as your Savior you became a new creation, one that He calls cherished, victorious, chosen, and fully whole. So before you react, remember who you are. Anyone else’s opinion simply doesn’t matter.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:14)

-Ann Wilds

Find Freedom from Comparison

Mom has always loved flowers. Many things have changed as a result of her having dementia but one thing that remains constant is her love for them.  Her favorite bouquets are a mix of assorted, colorful spring blooms. We try to keep fresh ones around for her to see.   

Do you think that any of her flowers compete with each other as they grow in a garden? Does the tulip feel that it doesn’t measure up because it has so few petals? Does the carnation worry that its thick, ruffled blooms make it look fat? Does the salvia fret that it may be too tall? Does the bluebonnet feel limited by its humble lineage compared to the cultivated history of the rose?

Flowers don’t worry with comparison; they do what they were created to do. They develop, they grow, and they bloom. Each one is a living masterpiece.

You and I are different, too. We may have small differences; you may be taller. (I promise it wouldn’t take much.)  We may have education differences; I hope to hang a third degree on the wall. We may have big differences; you may live in a third world country. We may have family differences; I grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father. Our differences may be many. We may look different, talk different, think different, and act different. But whatever our differences are doesn’t make one of us better. It simply makes us, well, different. 

God absolutely wants us to be the best, but not to best someone else. His desire is for us to be the best version of ourselves, to use everything we have: our experiences, our talents, our gifts, our successes, and even our failures, to blossom into the unique person He created us to be.

He doesn’t want me to be the best speaker, the best writer, the best mother, the best wife or the best believer. He wants me to be the best Ann I can be. And He wants that same thing for you.  

So, if you are worried about how you stack up against someone else, stop. You—not another copy of someone else—were created for this time, this place, this moment.  Strive to develop yourself, to learn more, to love more, to do whatever it is you do better, but don’t measure yourself against anyone else. The only comparison worth making is with the you you were yesterday.    

Message for the Journey:

A tulip doesn’t compete with the other flowers growing in the garden; it simply blooms. You aren’t the model in the magazine, you aren’t the neighbor down the street, you aren’t even your sibling. You are God’s unique, perfect creation. Don’t waste energy on comparison. Just bloom.

         ©Ann Wilds

For we are God’ handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:10

The Beauty of Brokenness

 Years ago, I returned home from Spain with a small, brightly colored plate that I intended to use as a spoon rest. Shortly thereafter, I broke it by accidentally dropping it on the kitchen floor. The pieces were everywhere. I gathered all that I could find and carefully glued it back together. I didn’t want to lose my pretty souvenir from such a wonderful trip. Despite the cracks, it still serves quite well for its intended purpose.

Each of us enters the world, as the plate entered my home, perfect and complete. Yet, in time, living in a fallen world has an impact. Despite what we may think, there are no perfect people—all are broken in some way.

The breaks may be more obvious in some of us—harder impacts create greater damage—but even paint can't fully cover everything.

With help—love and compassion—and sometimes through counseling, the sharp edges of the shattered pieces can be smoothed away but cracks will always remain.

But that’s good news for those who follow Christ, for it’s only through holes that a light can be seen when stored inside a jar of clay.  It is when we accept the beauty in our brokenness—and cease to try to hide it from the world—that His light in us shines most clearly for those living in darkness.

Ask God to reveal to you the broken places in your heart and mind. It may just be only through them that you are able to completely fulfill God's intended purpose for your life. 

Message for the Journey: 

Don"t be ashamed of your broken places; give them to God. His living waters will polish their rough edges leaving behind glorious windows for His light to shine out from within you. 

                                                                                                              -Ann Wilds

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

 (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4‬:‭7‬ NLT)

To What Words Do You Listen?

Fame is fleeting, glory is short and opinions are quick to change. 

Most of us will have an up-close and personal experience with this truth at some time in our lives: the popular child who moves to a new school only to find himself rejected, the writer who wakes to find the rating on their latest book plummeted due to harsh on-line reviews, the reality television star who is suspended from his show for comments made in an interview, or the everyday woman whose friend turns against her.   

Should your time come, remember that even Jesus experienced the pain of fickle opinions. He entered Jerusalem to lips singing his praises only to have them call for his public execution almost overnight. His heart must have ached to have been rejected, but still He knew the truth. His worth was not defined by any opinion of man. So it is with you.

While it is natural to enjoy praise never allow it to elevate your self-view, and be cautious about embracing criticism. What people think of you does not define you, only God can do that. 

And in God, you are:

• Wonderfully created-

I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
                     Psalm 139:11

• Treasured  and chosen-

The Lord has chosen you to be His treasured possession.
                  Deuteronomy 14:2

• Delightfully celebrated-  

He will take great delight in you…He will rejoice over you with singing.
                    Zephaniah 3:17

• Cherished and adored-

I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.
                     Jeremiah 31:3

Message for the Journey:

As a child of the King, it is not really your business what other people think of you but it is always your business what God thinks of you. Look to Him to see the truth of who you are. 

Ann Wilds

“Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant curse you.”  Ecclesiastes 7:21

The Key to Finding the Way Back Home

Circumstances have a way of derailing even our best laid plans.

A few years ago, a hurricane approached. Forecast estimated landfall would be direct to our city  which meant the probability was high that we would be significantly impacted.

To avoid any unnecessary risk, we decided that my husband would drive my aging mother to my sister’s house in another town outside of the danger zone while I remained home prepping for the pending emergency.

But a funny thing happened while they were on the road; the hurricane shifted. Instead of heading toward Texas, it was heading for Louisiana- exactly where they had intended to go. Local authorities began to close the roads and direct those evacuating further north. After hours of being routed many different ways, they ended up on back roads that he was not at all familiar with. They were also in a cell phone dead zone. Though he didn’t know exactly where he was, or really how he’d gotten there, he did know one thing- where he wanted to go. Eventually, an officer granted approval for him to turn a different way so that they could head back to Houston. Still unfamiliar with the roads, he kept making turns that took them in the right direction. In time, they reached a road that led home.

Has that ever happened to you? Have you found yourself someplace in life you didn’t want to be? Perhaps you were thrown off course by circumstances outside of your control or maybe it was caused by poor decisions you’ve made. Either way, what is done is done. You can’t ever go back and change the past. But that doesn’t mean you don’t have a choice about your future.

You can stay where you are wandering in the wilderness of life--unhappy, angry, and frustrated--far from your desired destination or you can make a change. You can determine to move forward each and every day. Whenever you find yourself somewhere other than where your purest self should be, simply turn. Turn away from the dark and towards the light. Turn away from the mire of self-loathing, turn back from the pit of acting out, and turn and run from the chains of temptation. You won’t reach your destination immediately, but if you continue to take steps of faith in the right direction, you will end up on the sweet road to home.   

Message for the Journey:

Stumbling over the past is a clear indicator that you’re facing the wrong way. You can’t move forward while looking over your shoulder. Accept the past for where it’s brought you today, but keep your eyes- and your feet- pointed in the direction you want to go. Not one of us can go back and make a brand new start of things, but we can each start today to make a brand new ending. 

“No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing. Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Phil 3:13-14

How to Find Joy in the Midst of the Storm

In Houston, we're in the midst of hurricane season which runs from June to November. When a storm grows large enough it’s named by the National Hurricane Center. In the last thirty years, that number has ranged from a low of 4 in 1983 to a high of 28 in 2005. We don't know how many storms will come each year but we know the storms will come. 

The same holds true with the storms of life. Some years there are few while in other s they come non-stop. But one thing is certain, no matter who we are, clouds eventually blow in.  It's easy to be happy when what's happening around us is pleasant. What shows who we are inside is what we're like when trouble comes. How do we find joy in the midst of the storm? 

J - 

Just be still. Know with confidence that God is firmly in control. The sun doesn't fail to shine when clouds are heavy, we simply don’t see it in the moment.  The sun is always in the sky, so too, God is always on the throne. 

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”- Psalms 46:10

O-

Objectively view the situation. Hurricanes are temporary as is the storm we’re going through –no matter how tumultuous. Every day may not be good, but there’s good in every day. Seek it.  

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”- John 16:33

Y-

Yield the outcome to God. Even when it’s difficult to understand His way we can still trust His heart.  As His children, we're assured that whatever we're going through will ultimately be for good.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.- James 1:2-3

Message for the Journey:

When people look at you do they see a person filled with joy or instead someone weighed down by the troubles of the day? When we allow the storms of life to steal our joy, we minimize the precious gift we've been given. Happiness may come from happenstance but joy comes from the Lord.

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vines; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord ! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!

Habakkuk 3:17, 18

©Ann Wilds