How to Live in the Midst of the Storm

Most of you, like me and my family, are experiencing an unprecedented storm, one filled with uncertainty and fear. We didn’t expect it, may have been ill-prepared for it, and certainly don’t know when it will all end.

It brings to mind another group of people who, too, were caught up in a sudden and dreadful storm, not a COVID-19 storm but... READ MORE .

Does an Inner Circle Matter?

Have you ever stopped to consider the impact a group, whether it’s just a few people or a large number, can have on the individuals within it? Peer pressure is just one example of the influence groups have on behavior. We’ve all witnessed it up close—my apologies to the owner of the house I helped cover in toilet paper back in high school—but the influence of others on our lives extends far beyond just temporary actions.

There is actually a science to group behavior that’s studied by social psychologists. It reveals predictable patterns in the way other people influence our attitudes and actions. Certain types of personalities are more easily influenced, but we’re all affected to various degrees.

Research shows that over time we become the average of the five people we associate with the most. We begin to model those around us as a natural result of group dynamics, and the more time spent together the greater the impact on our lives. While we often see the end result of its negative impact in news stories and on our criminal justice system, the same power can be harnassed for good.

Who you spend your time and energy with is crucial to your life’s trajectory. If your desire is to be successful, surround yourself with hardworking, determined people. If you want to grow more Christlike, spend time with passionate people of faith. If you value financial stability, seek out fiscally responsible people. If you want to live a life of positivity, avoid negative, fault-finding complainers.

This doesn’t mean you should never associate with your existing friends or family group if they don’t match your goals and values. What it means is that you intentionally walk through life with people who are already headed in the direction you want to go.

When it comes to daily life you should love everyone, but choose your inner circle with great care. They should inspire the best version of yourself, not the basest.

Be blessed my friend,

Ann Wilds

“Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.”‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭13:20‬ ‭NLT‬‬

How to Move from Victim to Victor

I’m participating in a 21-day worry-free group on Facebook, and the word for today is endurance. It’s an attribute that many of us lack, because it’s one that must be cultivated.

It’s really not a natural thing for us to willingly go through difficulties, especially extended ones, much less go through them with a positive attitude. Our brain and body were created to quickly move us away from any form of danger, pain, or suffering. When we can’t or don’t move away, the mechanisms inherent to the fight or flight response continue to escalate within us, often leading to stress, anxiety, and even depression. And while this response is natural, we don’t have to be ruled by our nature.

Our mind has the power to counter the responses.  Did you know that our brain and body react exactly the same way to false danger as they do to real danger? Our mental perspective results in our physical response. If we perceive the situation in a negative light, our bodies respond accordingly. But if we frame that same situation in a positive light, we are able to remain more at peace.

For the sake of clarity, I’m not talking about actual trauma. But for anything less, reframing can be very beneficial.

Here is a simple example, suppose you are traveling and find your connecting flight delayed. I speak from personal experience as it has happened many times. If you perceive the delay in a negative way, you’ll feel stressed and may even act out in anger. But if you reframe that delay as a chance to finish your report, explore the airport, or an opportunity to be kind to a stranger, you won’t feel stressed. You just might feel blessed.

Asking the right types of questions is one of my favorite re-framing tools. Instead of questions like:

• Why is this happening to me?
• Why is my co-worker so mean to me?
• Why isn’t life fair?

Try asking questions like:

• What can I learn from this?
• How can I use this to get better?
• How will I glorify God in this?

Asking better questions leads to better outcomes. The first types of questions are victim questions. They reflect powerlessness, focusing on things beyond our control. The second types of questions are victor questions. They are empowering, focusing on what we can control. The situation doesn’t change, but our outlook and attitude does. And sometimes with a better attitude, we find that we can actually change the situation because we are no longer stuck in a trap of limiting beliefs.

The victim trap is no place for anyone to remain, but most especially a child of the Most High. So, I want to encourage you today, should you find yourself there, to pull out your Bible and apply it to your circumstance. It’s a great source of wisdom and of authority on controlling your mind. Below are just a few. Study them, pick one or two to memorize, or write them out and place them where you’ll see them. Claim the power God has given you.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Phil. 4:8 ESV

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 ESV

Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Col. 3:2 ESV

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:5-6 ESV

For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. 1 Peter 10: 3-4 ESV

Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life. Prov. 4:23 NCV

We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, – 2 Cor. 10:5 ESV

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:13 ESV

When we work together with the power of the Holy Spirit to reframe the struggles of the day, we can leave stress and worry behind and, in faith, walk with endurance the path set before us.

Be blessed today.

Ann

Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.
Hebrews 12:1b-2a