3 Factors that Determine Attitude

A few years ago, we went on a skiing vacation with a group of people. What began as a fun get away was quickly complicated by problems. Our connecting flight was delayed, and then delayed again and again until finally we were stranded overnight without transportation, luggage, or guarantee of another flight the next morning. The airline's customer service representatives provided nothing that resembled service so we were essentially left to fend for ourselves. We eventually reached our destination and hit the slopes. Some of our group allowed the frustrating experience to color the rest of the trip. Any new inconvenience was met with grumbling and complaining. Their default was set, and remained, on negative.

It's not enjoyable to be around a negative person, much less stuck in a car or airport with them. No one enjoys that type of company. We don't like it and neither does God. In fact, because of their attitude the Israelite generation, that had been rescued from slavery in Egypt, never made it to the Promised Land. What scholars tell us should have been an eleven day journey became, for them, a forty year march through the wilderness. Despite everything that God had done, and was still doing for them, they grumbled and complained about what they felt they lacked. They never receive God's planned blessing because they failed to appreciate what they'd already been given. 

The punishment of wilderness living is still with us today. God does not burn us with a consuming fire or force us to wander in a desert, yet nevertheless there is a consequence to critical living. Happiness runs from negativity and complaint. No grumbler is ever happy or content, nor is anyone who lives around them. A negative attitude scorches emotional life just as fire scorches physical life. It can rage out of control causing untold damage. Nothing good can thrive in the midst of the flame. Any who choose a lifestyle of complaining, choose also to have a lifestyle of wilderness living. God doesn't want that for His children. 

Life can never be smooth sailing. There will always been times of turbulence causing flights to be delayed or crisis where everything that can go wrong does. We can't always control what happens to us, but we can control- if we try- our attitude about it. The attitude we have when undergoing trials will often determine how long we remain in that present difficulty. God calls us to be full of joy in all circumstances so that we may serve as a light to the dark world. This doesn't mean that we won't ever be unhappy, just that we won't let temporary circumstances control our joy. So, how can we avoid wilderness living? Consider:


1. Where we are looking- 
Attitude begins with perspective. Small minded thinking is negative attitude thinking. It's an attitude of, "what about me?” It looks at what is lacking in the short-term instead of on the blessings and promises we do have. Because there is so much happening at any given time, God created the brain in such a way that we can control where it focuses and what it overlooks. Without that ability, we would have sensory overload. A positive minded person looks at a rose bush and sees a flowering bush with thorns. A negative minded person looks at the same thing and sees a thorn bush with flowers. A positive minded person looks at a man and sees a loving father who plays with his children and makes a little mess. A negative minded person looks at the man and sees a walking disaster area that happens to have children. 

Perspective is something that we can easily change. When you find yourself focusing on what is wrong- with yourself, your family, your spouse, your circumstance- train your brain to look for what is good. Adopt a spirit of silver-lining living. Ask God in prayer to reveal the blessings you already have. 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,- James 1:2
    
2. What we are saying- 
We can say we believe one way or another but what comes out of our mouth reveals what is truly in our heart. If our speech is full of negative, complaining, whining, nagging words, we are in the midst of wilderness living and if we aren't careful we will remain there. 

Pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth or, better yet, ask a close friend. But be prepared to receive an answer you may not like. Often, we are not aware of just how many shaded words we speak. Should we find that our words don't reflect what we want to be in our heart, we need to turn to God for His help in a heart transplant, to fill us anew.   

For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.-Luke 6:45b

3. Who we are spending time with-

Just like a virus, attitudes are contagious. Who we choose to surround ourselves with will quickly influence our attitude. It is the mob mindset. The unhappiness and anger of others can spark a destructive fire in us from an ember we weren't truly aware we had. Because we are imperfect people living in an imperfect fallen world there is nothing without blemish. We can always find something wrong. If we choose to spend our time with those who always focus on what's wrong, we will quickly find ourselves doing the same thing. Run away from people like that. 

Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." 1 Cor. 15:33 


Message for the Journey:
Unlike the complaining Israelites, wilderness living is a choice God gives us. If we choose a negative attitude, we choose to miss out on God's blessings and live a barren life. Attitudes once changed a difficult 11 day journey into 40 years of wandering in a desert wilderness. Don't let your attitude do the same with you. The attitude you choose today, will impact all of your tomorrows.  


Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Eph 4:23

©AnnWilds2012
Photo courtesy of Morguefile

The Single Best Driving Tip

It’s here, the time that strikes terror into the heart of even the bravest parent. We can do nothing to avoid it. It's the dream of every child and the dread of every parent- the driver's license. 

Our daughter recently passed the driver’s permit exam after working with my husband in preparation. They spent hours reviewing the information. There's so much to learn in order to successfully navigate the roads: road sign meanings, traffic laws, operational steps and what to do in an emergency. One lesson we covered is the importance of keeping her eyes on the road.


Studies show that 80% of accidents involve some form of driver distraction. They may occur as a result of the driver not reacting to changes on the road because their eyes are turned elsewhere. They simply don’t see the danger in time to avoid the crash. Others are caused by our natural tendency to steer in the direction of our eyes.  When a driver looks away,  their weight shifts slightly along with their hand pressure on the steering wheel. This change inadvertently steers the car in a direction they never intended. They leave the safe lane of travel and head directly into danger. This type of accident often results in a fatality.

The tendency for our eyes to direct our way is true no matter which vehicle we use to propel us. It’s also just as true in our spiritual walk.

In the book of Genesis we read that both Abram and Lot grew prosperous from the Lord’s blessings. The great size of their herds created complications, so they decided to separate. Lot was given the choice of any land. He chose to set his tents facing the city of Sodom. He could have kept his face towards God’s appointed land but instead he faced the sin filled world around them. Before long, its sights and sounds enticed him. Just like driving a car, Lot moved in the direction he was looking. In time, simply because of the enticement of his eyes, he moved closer and closer until eventually he moved his entire family inside the walls. With that decision came great tragedy.

Where we choose to keep our eyes will direct our spiritual walk. When we are faithful and keep them turned toward God and His word, our path is safe from destruction. But when we allow the temptations of the world to distract us, to even temporarily hold our eyes away from what is good, we invite tragedy into our home.

Message for the Journey:

To successfully navigate the way, a wise driver keeps his gaze on the road knowing that where his eyes go so, in turn, does he. To successfully navigate the roadways of life, a wise Christian will keep his eyes fully on Christ. It is only by remaining in His way that we are kept safe from harm. 
   
“Sensible people keep their eyes glued on wisdom, but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth.” Proverbs 17:24
                                                                                                                                                      ©AnnWilds2012

3 Steps to Conquering Obstacles



Are you facing obstacles in your life? If you aren’t at this moment, celebrate and be thankful because before long you will. Obstacles and challenges are an inevitable part of human existence. So what do we do when they arise? How do we successfully overcome them?

The Israelite army was at a stand-still. In their path lay their biggest crisis yet. It terrified them. It was so frightening an obstacle that even the bravest warriors were shaking on the sidelines. No one dared faced the giant Goliath- until David.

David was ill prepared by human standards; he was just a young shepherd, not a trained warrior. He had no protective armor or sword. For all intents and purposes his facing the giant was a recipe for certain disaster. But David had wisdom the others did not.

He faced a huge obstacle boldly when others couldn’t. Their focus was on the size of the problem- a giant who stood over 9 feet tall, and his fierce army. David’s focus was on the size and power of God. He remembered all the times God had been faithful in the past and as a result he faced the problem with the right attitude. When you face a giant: 

1. Focus on the solution not the problem-
The army only had eyes for the problem. As a result they were completely overwhelmed by the size of their obstacle and could do nothing but shake in fear. David wasn’t concerned with the size of Goliath; he was concerned with the size of God. He knew the solution – God- was bigger than any created thing.

You may not be facing a 9 foot tall giant but where you focus is etremely critical. When you focus only on the problem you lose sight of the solution and become overwhelmed. Instead, seek God for His wisdom and direction. Nothing is too big for Him to overcome.

2. Gain confidence by recalling past triumphs-
David spoke in confidence of the times God had strengthened him to fight and kill dangerous predators that attacked the sheep he tended. By recalling the times God had seen him safely through, he remained confident that God would do it again.

As you face your problem, recall all the times that God has seen the faithful through trials. You can remain confident that He is right there for you too.

3. Use your natural abilities but rely on God’s strength-
Saul tried to arm David with what he knew as strength- his helmet, armor and sword. They were heavy and cumbersome to David, not allowing him to use his natural abilities, so he took them off. He knew his strong suit was his ability to move quickly and work with the skills that God had blessed him with. But he also knew that his natural abilities would only take him so far. It was on God’s strength he relied as he faced and slew the giant.

God has given you natural abilities and talent. When troubles come, make use of them to work through the problem while always relying on God’s infinite strength to triumph.


Message for the Journey:
It takes a right attitude to overcome the obstacles of life. Keep your focus on the size of your God not the size of the problem. Remember all the times He has been faithful. In His strength you will overcome for nothing is impossible for God. 

Don't Forget to Burn Your Ship

In 1519, the Spanish explorer Hernando Cortez landed in Mexico with 11 ships full of men and supplies intending to conquer the new land for Spain. Everything was unloaded as they prepared for the venture. What happened next is open to interpretation. Some reports indicate that, unbeknownst to his crew, he set the ships on fire. Others say that he broke them up by running them aground. Whatever action he took, the end result was the same. The familiar, sea-worthy ships were destroyed. There would be no retreat. Every single one of his crew had to fully commit to making the endeavor a success.
When we marry, we too set out as explorers, intent upon establishing a new home. We arrive in separate ships, but reach the same shore. There we find new terrain to explore, new obstacles to overcome and a new future to build. Yet, there's no hope for success unless both parties are fully committed to marriage.  

Many new explorers enter the bounds of matrimony with an attitude of if things don't work out we can always call it quits. That's not a healthy approach to begin any endeavor and certainly not the one God intends us to have as we join together. In Matthew 19:8, Jesus tells us clearly that divorce was not what God intended for marriage. There are circumstances when a divorce is the only option, but those times are far and few between. 

The ships we sail to first reach our mutual shore of new life aren't the rough ships of Cortez's day. Instead, we arrive on cruise ships overflowing with comfort and luxury and are often surprised to find, when we disembark, that the new land is challenging and full of obstacles--not at all what we've become accustomed to. The best way for any explorer to ensure success is, along with excitement and anticipation, to take time for proper planning and preparation. 

Use the Right Tools- 

Cortez didn't just hop on a boat; he gathered the right tools and supplies in advance and unloaded them upon the shore. What they needed but didn't have, they found or made from the resources around them.  Marriage should be approached the same way, with each partner gaining the tools needed for a healthy marriage and applying them when necessary. Important tools for a successful marriage include reliance on God, communication skills, mutual respect and self-control. What we don't have, we need to go out and get. If heavy struggles arise, seek Christian counseling. Some issues are too difficult for us to try and resolve alone. 

Most of us are not surrounded by healthy marriages as examples. Divorce and remarriage were common in my family and may be in yours too. But that isn't an excuse for giving up. It simply means we need to work harder to overcome our lack of knowledge. 

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, hard words and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. 
 Ephesians 4:31-32 


Burn the Boat-  

By destroying the ships, Cortez solidified the degree of commitment of the crew. Burning your ship--the option of an easy way out--cements your commitment to one another. Marriages struggle when there is a backup plan. As long as we believe that there is another option readily available, we aren't prepared to push through the difficult times to reach the other side. And sooner or later, there will be difficult times. Home should be with one another, nowhere else. 

Part of burning your boat includes cutting the apron strings with parents and others. Your loyalties and dependencies now lie with each other first and foremost. Place God at the heart of your relationship and fully commit to your marriage.  

Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed.
Proverbs 16:3


Message for the Journey:
For the adventure of marriage to end in success, three conditions are needed. First, be sure to have the proper tools and supplies. What you didn't bring with you, go out and get along the way. Secondly, don't leave the ship you arrived in anchored in the bay. Burn it and fully commit to your new life together. And finally, make sure there are three of you in your party. You'll need the wisdom of God as your Captain and Navigator to successfully traverse the new terrain and establish a wonderful new life.

©AnnWilds 2012