But I Want to See What's Coming

     I don’t know about you but impatience remains an opportunity area in my life. It’s quite possible that God will still be developing this particular fruit of the Spirit in me up until my final moment on earth. With His help, I’ve gained ground; friends have commented on my patience in trying times but I think that is more a reflection of my stress management skills than my level of patience. I still have far to go but I can laugh at the comical ways impatience arises in me. It’s so often over the little things in life.

     One way is when I’m driving and find myself behind a truck or van, any vehicle that I can’t see around. I can feel myself growing impatient. I have the urge to change lanes, to get around them. The feeling isn’t connected to their speed; that’s what makes it funny. Even if the pace is perfect, I’m impatience nevertheless. I feel trapped. I just want, no need, to be able to see. I want to know what’s coming.

     As I travel the winding roads of life. I sometimes find myself reacting the same way. I want to know what the plan details are. Will this happen or will that happen? Will God open this door or shut that window? How long will this situation last? Just what exactly is coming around the next turn and when? These thoughts and feelings really all boil down to one thing. I want to be in control. I can believe that I trust God fully but my reaction, my impatience, is an indicator that somewhere deep I’m still relying on myself, even if just as a back up plan.

     And that’s funny. How could I, even for one moment, believe that my way would ever be better than God’s way? Do I really believe that I could have a more perfect plan than the Creator of the universe? Oh, my way might be easier but easy is not the destination. God is more concerned with my character than my momentary comfort for He knows my ultimate destination is to become as Christ.

     I can try to influence my travel on the freeway but I can’t control it any more than I can control life’s outcomes. I can influence them but only God is in control. And that’s the great news. He is sovereign, in control of everything. He doesn’t need me to navigate for him or to edit His plan. What He desires of me is simple, complete trust and dependence. I just need to sit back, relax and follow Him on the roads of life. For whether it is uphill or downhill, moving fast or moving slow, He is in complete control and He is good. God’s character never changes.

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